Dear friends,
Today might be my last day of existence as I have the headache the size of a semi. I have advised both my mother and Kaleb to bring over a gun small enough for me to be to pull the trigger, but powerful enough to put me out of my misery. While I doubt my mother will follow through since she seems pretty fond of me, Kaleb does love guns. Hopefully, his love for guns will surpass his love for his very much alive girlfriend and I will be relieved of this migraine (and every other pesky little thing that comes with living... like having a fix a broken bed or clean the bathroom) come this afternoon.
In other news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE. Words can not express how much I love and adore you. I am so thankful for your friendship and can not wait to adequately celebrate your birthday with you. You are fantastic and fabulous. Everyone loves you.
Sincerely,
Leslie Ann Davis
5/24/1985 - 10/22/2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
May I just say, that I am turning in to a domestic champion?
Not only has my room been clean for the past 3 weeks (gasp), but I also made Kaleb a very intricate dinner, if I do say so myself. While the fact that you are reading this indicates that you are fairly familiar with me and the following admission, let me just state that my cooking skills/ambition have always been... stunted. My mother thought a home cooked meal consisted of (a)taco bell or (b) noodles with tuna and cream of mushroom soup (stirred, ofcourse). This is a victory, yall. A VICTORY. I really enjoy cooking for Kaleb. How 19th century of me. BUT I also like being an independent, hard working, ball-busting, professional woman. (PS I love my new job. Love love love. The girls are fantastic because He provides)
I am pretty confident that Kaleb is one of the most predominate signs God has ever given me that he loves me.
Enough of that. Back to work.
Not only has my room been clean for the past 3 weeks (gasp), but I also made Kaleb a very intricate dinner, if I do say so myself. While the fact that you are reading this indicates that you are fairly familiar with me and the following admission, let me just state that my cooking skills/ambition have always been... stunted. My mother thought a home cooked meal consisted of (a)taco bell or (b) noodles with tuna and cream of mushroom soup (stirred, ofcourse). This is a victory, yall. A VICTORY. I really enjoy cooking for Kaleb. How 19th century of me. BUT I also like being an independent, hard working, ball-busting, professional woman. (PS I love my new job. Love love love. The girls are fantastic because He provides)
I am pretty confident that Kaleb is one of the most predominate signs God has ever given me that he loves me.
Enough of that. Back to work.
Friday, October 3, 2008
The grass is always greener on the other side.
As my time at Kell Altermann and Runstein comes to an end, I am starting to realize I just might genuinely miss this place.
The other day I realized exactly what I needed from the firm: validation. Tom Rask, one of the partners, was discussing my move with me while he was organizing an errand for me to run. While doing so, he told me about the potential he saw within me and just told me how I had so many options in my life that I shouldn't waste them.
Perhaps I am insecure. Perhaps I am vain. Regardless, I love to hear when people have faith in me to do great things. It propels me.
But, God has me in Salem for a reason and I am excited to see why.
As my time at Kell Altermann and Runstein comes to an end, I am starting to realize I just might genuinely miss this place.
The other day I realized exactly what I needed from the firm: validation. Tom Rask, one of the partners, was discussing my move with me while he was organizing an errand for me to run. While doing so, he told me about the potential he saw within me and just told me how I had so many options in my life that I shouldn't waste them.
Perhaps I am insecure. Perhaps I am vain. Regardless, I love to hear when people have faith in me to do great things. It propels me.
But, God has me in Salem for a reason and I am excited to see why.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I am in the middle of a spiritual high in my relationship with God. I can't seem to get enough of Him. I love feeling close to Him and feeling the passion burning inside to know Him and please Him.
This past Sunday the sermon was about when God calls on you to do His will. It may be scary and push you out of your comfort zone, but doing so will bring blessings that you never could have anticipated.
I received a calling from God approximately a year and a half ago. I am certain of it. It is literally terrifying. Even just thinking about it makes me tear up and I immediately feel a resistance build up to it.
Growing up, the Church had always been for “others.” I felt like an outsider that didn’t belong who just tagged along. Needless to say, I strayed. After an unhealthy period of straying, He called me back. I am that sheep that always strays and that God hunts down with vigor. Even though I consider my knack for straying a failure, I am always amazed at His undying love, guidance, and faithfulness. I have learned how to continually build and protect my relationship with Him through reading, prayer, and fellowship. However, that calling is always in the back of my head. Haunting me.
I am trying to get up enough courage to jump into this calling. Its so hard because every bone in my body is responding with “No, God. Not me. Choose someone more patient, more obedient, more eloquent, less selfish, less… me.” It is by far the most challenging thing I have ever encountered.
I think Moses and I would be great friends if we met right after his burning bush. My burning bush isn’t asking me to do even half of what he did, but I feel our reactions are similar.
I’ll keep reading. Keep praying. Keep taking tiny steps on this path he has put me on.
God knows me better than I could ever hope to know myself, so why in the world would I even dream of hesitating?
This past Sunday the sermon was about when God calls on you to do His will. It may be scary and push you out of your comfort zone, but doing so will bring blessings that you never could have anticipated.
I received a calling from God approximately a year and a half ago. I am certain of it. It is literally terrifying. Even just thinking about it makes me tear up and I immediately feel a resistance build up to it.
Growing up, the Church had always been for “others.” I felt like an outsider that didn’t belong who just tagged along. Needless to say, I strayed. After an unhealthy period of straying, He called me back. I am that sheep that always strays and that God hunts down with vigor. Even though I consider my knack for straying a failure, I am always amazed at His undying love, guidance, and faithfulness. I have learned how to continually build and protect my relationship with Him through reading, prayer, and fellowship. However, that calling is always in the back of my head. Haunting me.
I am trying to get up enough courage to jump into this calling. Its so hard because every bone in my body is responding with “No, God. Not me. Choose someone more patient, more obedient, more eloquent, less selfish, less… me.” It is by far the most challenging thing I have ever encountered.
I think Moses and I would be great friends if we met right after his burning bush. My burning bush isn’t asking me to do even half of what he did, but I feel our reactions are similar.
I’ll keep reading. Keep praying. Keep taking tiny steps on this path he has put me on.
God knows me better than I could ever hope to know myself, so why in the world would I even dream of hesitating?
Friday, September 26, 2008
Donna Hates Loud
No matter where I end up in my career, I would like it to be next to someone who does not mind when conversations occur in their general vicinity.
Donna is a legal secretary who sits ten feet (possibly less) away from me. She works for one of the managing partners. God must really hate her to position someone like myself so close to her. Other people in the office seem to flock to me to talk about nonsense. Never anything important regarding a case or along those lines, but more so "My husband and I went on a vacation and it was lovely" or "This guy won't call me back but I think I am in love with him" or "What does this skin rash look like to you".
While Donna loves to talk about her feline companion and the process of neutering to anyone who shows the slightest of interest, she does not look kindly upon those who hold conversations that do not include her. She will interupt curtly with a "Do you mind? I can't concentrate with all of this noise," as a co-worker is almost whispering the happenings of their weekend.
My cell phone rang today and I about sprung out of my chair, dove over my desk, and summer-saulted in mid-air to silence it as to not disturb Donna. Donna hates loud. And I hate Donna when Donna is around loud.
Did I mention Donna is a fan of matching patterned outfits? When she walks into the office, it is a wall of purple, or lillies, or whatever glorious couch material she decided to make her ensemble out of today. Every now and again I have the urge to say "Do you mind? I can't concentrate with all of this noise," while gestering to her outfit. Its visually disturbing.
But I don't.
I am sure that deep down inside, Donna is a lovely person who doesn't want to yell at everyone. Deep down inside she probably likes to sip tea while reading a lovely book on a sunny afternoon... possibly in a park. And this job is keeping her from doing so (much like its keeping me from my family and loved ones). I guess I would yell at the young college grad who thinks she knows everything, too.
But I don't.
Perhaps Donna should take notes.
Donna is a legal secretary who sits ten feet (possibly less) away from me. She works for one of the managing partners. God must really hate her to position someone like myself so close to her. Other people in the office seem to flock to me to talk about nonsense. Never anything important regarding a case or along those lines, but more so "My husband and I went on a vacation and it was lovely" or "This guy won't call me back but I think I am in love with him" or "What does this skin rash look like to you".
While Donna loves to talk about her feline companion and the process of neutering to anyone who shows the slightest of interest, she does not look kindly upon those who hold conversations that do not include her. She will interupt curtly with a "Do you mind? I can't concentrate with all of this noise," as a co-worker is almost whispering the happenings of their weekend.
My cell phone rang today and I about sprung out of my chair, dove over my desk, and summer-saulted in mid-air to silence it as to not disturb Donna. Donna hates loud. And I hate Donna when Donna is around loud.
Did I mention Donna is a fan of matching patterned outfits? When she walks into the office, it is a wall of purple, or lillies, or whatever glorious couch material she decided to make her ensemble out of today. Every now and again I have the urge to say "Do you mind? I can't concentrate with all of this noise," while gestering to her outfit. Its visually disturbing.
But I don't.
I am sure that deep down inside, Donna is a lovely person who doesn't want to yell at everyone. Deep down inside she probably likes to sip tea while reading a lovely book on a sunny afternoon... possibly in a park. And this job is keeping her from doing so (much like its keeping me from my family and loved ones). I guess I would yell at the young college grad who thinks she knows everything, too.
But I don't.
Perhaps Donna should take notes.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Two. More. Weeks. Ten. More. Working. Days.
Two more weeks of this?
I don’t know if I can take this. My cup runneth over with discontent.
I understand that the two weeks notice is for the employer, but doesn’t giving two weeks notice really mean that you were done with the position three weeks ago? Ya know – when you started looking for another job?
The more time I spend here the more attached I get to my Salem life that this horrible place known as Kell Alterman and Runstein is stealing me from.
So today’s path is now as follows:
Get my MSW from PSU. Go on to Law school, OR become a school counselor.
I don’t know if I can take this. My cup runneth over with discontent.
I understand that the two weeks notice is for the employer, but doesn’t giving two weeks notice really mean that you were done with the position three weeks ago? Ya know – when you started looking for another job?
The more time I spend here the more attached I get to my Salem life that this horrible place known as Kell Alterman and Runstein is stealing me from.
So today’s path is now as follows:
Get my MSW from PSU. Go on to Law school, OR become a school counselor.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Its been awhile.
If "Leslie Davis" were an entry in a Thesaurus, it would have the words "indecision, unstable, driven, intelligent, naive, gullible, contradiction" following it.
I have switched jobs again after working in Portland for almost two months. While most of me is excited to remain room mates with Krista, a small part of me wonders if this is a failure. Is Salem really where I am meant to be? I feel as though it is this sucking force that no matter how hard I try to pull away from it, I always remain right back where I started. My heart feels as though Salem is where I want to be, but the dreamer within me says "bullshit".
This job in Salem is better pay, closer to those I love, and gives me the opportunity to fully invest myself in the Chamber and Salem Alliance. I am sad to say that my relationship with God has seemed to take a backseat since I have been commuting and couch surfing. He will take priority. I am joining a small group and I hope that I can get back to where I was a year ago today.
My biggest fear is that I investing time, energy and emotions into a relationship with someone who might not be heading in the same direction I am. I always had four different directions I wanted to take my life in (still do) and had the plans lined out on how to do each one. When I talk to Kaleb about what he wants to do, he has no idea. Not an inkling. Kaleb and I are so different. Yet, I can't imagine not having him near me. He makes me laugh and takes such good care of me. I feel at home with him and while this is all fine and dandy, I don't want to end up with someone without a degree or direction. Direction without a degree is one thing, but an absence of both is dangerous.
On a bright note, I get to live in a town with my sister, brother and nephew babies in addition to Nicole, Krista and all the other lovely people I have met in Salem.
Great things can be done wherever you reside because the drive lies in the person, not their location... right? Right.
I have switched jobs again after working in Portland for almost two months. While most of me is excited to remain room mates with Krista, a small part of me wonders if this is a failure. Is Salem really where I am meant to be? I feel as though it is this sucking force that no matter how hard I try to pull away from it, I always remain right back where I started. My heart feels as though Salem is where I want to be, but the dreamer within me says "bullshit".
This job in Salem is better pay, closer to those I love, and gives me the opportunity to fully invest myself in the Chamber and Salem Alliance. I am sad to say that my relationship with God has seemed to take a backseat since I have been commuting and couch surfing. He will take priority. I am joining a small group and I hope that I can get back to where I was a year ago today.
My biggest fear is that I investing time, energy and emotions into a relationship with someone who might not be heading in the same direction I am. I always had four different directions I wanted to take my life in (still do) and had the plans lined out on how to do each one. When I talk to Kaleb about what he wants to do, he has no idea. Not an inkling. Kaleb and I are so different. Yet, I can't imagine not having him near me. He makes me laugh and takes such good care of me. I feel at home with him and while this is all fine and dandy, I don't want to end up with someone without a degree or direction. Direction without a degree is one thing, but an absence of both is dangerous.
On a bright note, I get to live in a town with my sister, brother and nephew babies in addition to Nicole, Krista and all the other lovely people I have met in Salem.
Great things can be done wherever you reside because the drive lies in the person, not their location... right? Right.
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